reflections

White Night Gold Dawn # 2

LEAF GREEN

I wonder what’s the shade of green that is envy. A healthy jealousy, of someone’s goodness, is perhaps not really jealousy but a competitiveness that spurs you onward towards goodness yourself. That would be leaf green. The other sickly greens that characterize real envy, I leave to you to imagine.
Knowledge is tricky to pursue, especially Islamic knowledge. When you want to get information that can be translated into skills that you can cash, nobody opposes you there. When you want to understand the Quran, people play “hundred excuses” with you. Meaning, they tell you reasons to avoid getting into it.
It’s funny, if your lover wrote you a love letter, and you wrapped it up carefully, unopened, and put it on the highest shelf, what kind of a lover would that make you…?
Now, when we do that with the Quran, which is a personal letter to us from Allah, what kind of a Muslim does that make us?
Well, some of my friends had family support and they really got into Islamic knowledge. I admit to feeling a bit jealous of them. It’s not like my family doesn’t support me. It’s just that they don’t provide the same platform for me to pursue Islamic knowledge. It’s annoying, but it’s not the end of the world. I always reason with myself: if it’s more difficult for me to attain what my friends got, don’t I get more appreciation from Allah for that? Isn’t that what counts in the end?
Of course, I’d like to “be” an Islamic scholar, not for the status, but to have the comfort and the foundation of true Islamic knowledge in my mind. I have to discipline myself, though. It takes a lot of hard work to get where I want to go, and I am still floundering in shallow water right now.
I’m a landlubber through and through. If it were up to my desires, I’d spend my life high and dry. The problem is, pearls don’t fall from the heavens straight into your lap. You have to dive down to get them.
Pearls, jewels, whatever’s precious, needs some uncovering to be revealed. The most precious thing we need to uncover is the covered copy of Quran on our bookshelves. Open it up and let it into our minds.
Forming a relationship with the Quran means reciting it, listening to it, reading it with understanding, and reading its explanation. That’s a lot of time and energy to invest, so it’s good to get into the habit.
I’m off to follow the yellow brick road. See you at the Emerald City!
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